Eie stories

Herman Lensing blog: SJOKOLADE… Ek kan eenvoudig nie nee sê nie!

Ongelukkig vir my maak die een my beursie slank en die ander een my lyf rond…presies die teenoorgestelde waarvoor ek hoop! Dis egter my liefde vir sjokolade wat my tot die uiterse sondes dryf! Nooit het ek ooit gedink ek sal myself klassifiseer as ‘n verslaafde nie!

Mense wat verslaaf is, het kringe onder hulle oe, blou kolle op hulle arms en gaan immers na ondersteuningsgroepe toe. Nie ek nie, nee ek is anders. Ek kom uit ‘n goeie huis, gee gereeld geld vir ‘n goeie saak en skeer elke oggend. Dit was egter gisteraand wat ek myself vir die hoeveelste keer middernag voor die yskas gekry het, besig om sjokolade te verorber. Dit was in die helder lig van my sjokolade-hemel wat ek besef het ek het ‘n probleem.

My lewe draai om kos, alles wat ek doen sluit eet in. Dis deel van my as mens en deel van alles wat ek doen. My huis-toe-gaan-roete na werk loop sommer ook reguit deur die winkel en dan is die roetine: kos vir vanaand, brood, kyk gou of daar dalk ‘n nuwe tydskrif op die rak is en dan die lang pelgrimstog tot by die kassier. Dis dan daar waar ek keer op keer swyg.

Ten spyte van vroeër voornemens om nie weer toe te gee nie, pak ek die sjokolade in. Soms is dit bitter en donker, more kies ek die soort met neute en partykeer sal ek swig vir ‘n sak moutballe.

Terug by die huis verwyt en vloek ek die supermark se taktiese verleiding. Die kannie-nee-sê-roete tot by die kassier. Daardie lang ry wat jou dwing om na elke lekker, sjokolade en onbenullighede te kyk.

Sodra ek die kans kry om te begin weglê aan my swakheid verander my gemoed in sekondes. Ek kan die wêreld se probleme oplos, ek vergewe die parkeeraanwyser wat keer op keer dink hy is die heelal se parkeermeester en die meesterbrein agter die K53-rybewys toets is. Ek kry selfs lus om skottelgoed te was!

Gewoonlik na die derde happie sal my skuldgevoel skielik sy verskyning maak… Dis dan wanneer ek sjokolade vinnig probeer wegsteek agter die melkbottel. Maar in my agterkop weet ek presies waar hy skuil. Ek kan sy verleidelike krete daar in die koelkas hoor! Sy woorde warrel om en om rondom my: Eet my, eet my… eet my…

Hier duskant 11 uur bid ek hard op vir hulp. Dan skree my binnest om genade. Verlossing van wat my nie wil ophou roep nie. Dan swyg ek. Ek gee in, en marsjeer vinnig tot reg voor die yskas. Maar dis sodra ek daardie deur oop swaai wat alles binne my tot ruste kom.

Vasberade, in die wit gloed van die yskas-lig, dwaal my oë deur elke rak met die hoop dat dit waarna ek soek dalkies nie meer daar is nie. Maar my lot is eenvoudig – dis net ek en die sjokolade. Niks kan my daarvan weghou nie.

Sodra ek dit vind helder my oë op en ek weet alles gaan okay wees. Ek eet vinnig en intens. Alles binne in my voel beter. My lewe maak weer sin en ek besef dat ek gemaak is om te funksioneer met sjokolade. 

Ek gee oor aan iets wat ek nie meer kan beheer nie. Ek besef dat nee se is nie ‘n opsie nie. More sal ek tog kan nee se? Maar more is nie vandag se bekommernis nie en daaroor is ek tog te dankbaar!

Terwyl ek skielik besef ek het ‘n probleem onthou ek die woorde van my ouma: sjokolade is gesond, -sjokolade is mos eintlik groente? Hoe so vra ek? Hoe dan anders, sjokolade kom van ‘n boon – en boontjies is mos groente? Dan nie?

Ek slaan vinnig die deur toe, dink weer aan haar woorde en voel dan skielik weer beter! Ek is verslaaf, verslaaf aan gelukkig wees, en as sjokolade my dan gelukkig maak, so be it! Die lewe is te kort om dit wat niemand opsetlik skade doen nie, prys te gee! Miskien sal ek more sjokolade prysgee…

Laat weet my van jou geheime verslawing waarvan niemand weet nie!

 

 

 

  • Marie

    Herman, dit kon net sowel ek gewees het wat dit geskryf het. Die enigste verskil – daar is selde in die middernagtelike ure sjokolade oor in my yskas. Ek het nou sommer hoendervleis gekry van die lekker met die lees hiervan………

  • Sindy

    Herman, jy praat uit my mond uit, uit my bitter soet sjokolade etende mond!! nom nom nom, hoe lus raak ek nou vir ‘n sjokolade, ek sal enige dag my kos verruil vir so ‘n stukkie hemel. Dis die lekker dan die spyt, dan die lekker, dan die spyt, maar soos jy noem die lewe is te kort vir spyt, die sjokolade se vreugede is soveel groter en maak op vir dit!! Dis absoluut elke happie werd!

  • Ek het in ‘n oomblik van swakheid besluit om sjokelade prys te gee tydens die lydenstyd ("lent"). En lyding is dit inderdaad!Jou mooi en akkurate beskrywings het my laat kwyl op my keyboard.
    Ek sien uit na daardie eerste blokkie as die sjokeladevas eers verby is. 25 dae om te gaan! Intussen, geniet en verorber met lus namens die wat nie kan nie 🙂

  • Nadia

    As mede sjokolade verslaafde is my slogan: "Die lewe is onvoorspelbaar, eet die nagereg eerste."

  • Suzette Jonker

    Wat praat jy!!! Klink of julle my gisteraand voor die yskas afgeneem het!! Ek is versot op sjokelade!! Kan nie in die aand gaan sonder my sjokelade en koffie nie !! Dit is die beste!!

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